How to Move from Freeze to Flow
“You don’t have to be confident to take action; taking action is what builds confidence.”
- Unknown
Why is it that the goals we care about most are the ones we tend to put off?
You want to move forward on a meaningful project, share your work more widely, or contribute in a bigger way. And yet, something inside makes you hesitate.
I see this often in my coaching clients, and in myself. We care deeply about something and want to act, yet we stall. We distract, delay, and then judge ourselves for not taking action. Sound familiar?
This isn’t laziness or lack of willpower. It’s something deeper: the mind’s instinct to keep you safe.
The Paradox of Procrastination
Your brain isn’t wired for fulfilment; it’s wired for survival. When something feels risky, exposed, or uncertain, your nervous system activates a protective response.
This is the paradox:
You want to move forward, but your mind tries to keep you safe by avoiding discomfort.
It goes like this:
Your mind perceives danger (even if there isn’t any), triggering fear or anxiety.
Avoiding the task brings temporary relief.
That relief signals to your brain that avoidance means safety.
So, next time, it repeats the same strategy.
It’s like an internal tug-of-war between your desire to grow and your brain’s instinct to avoid discomfort. But avoidance doesn’t come without a cost.
The Cost of Avoidance
Each time you avoid discomfort, you reinforce the belief that you can’t handle uncomfortable situations. Yet, navigating discomfort is essential for growth and moving towards what matters.
What makes this harder is the shame that often follows, which over time creates self-doubt and a sense that something must be wrong with us.
There isn’t.
Procrastination isn’t a personal flaw. It’s a protective mechanism, an evolutionary response.
From Freeze to Flow
Most people wait for discomfort to vanish before acting, but that moment rarely comes.
So, how do we bypass this protective mechanism and move forward on what matters most?
The shift happens the other way around:
You act first. Then the discomfort softens and momentum follows.
I often visualise this process as an upward curve that peaks and then eases once action is taken. The turning point comes when you stop waiting for fear to disappear and simply take a step forward, even if it’s uncomfortable.
I call this going over the curve.
The Procrastination Curve Explained
The Upward Curve
This is the build-up of fear, resistance, and anxiety. The longer you wait, the more intense the discomfort becomes.
The Turning Point
What shifts the curve is taking action. However, be aware that there might be an initial spike in discomfort as you start, this is because your brain resists even more as you approach change.
The Downward Curve
As you stay in motion, tension eases. Momentum builds, and things feel lighter as your mind recognises that it’s safe to be in action.
I often experience this curve when writing my newsletter. Resistance builds, distractions arise, and I feel the urge to delay. But when I start with a small task, like simply reading through my notes, the discomfort eases and momentum grows.
Familiarity only comes from experience.
Each time you move through the full curve, you teach your brain that action is safe. Over time, it becomes easier to face new situations with less resistance.
Breaking Through Resistance
I use this same process in my coaching to reduce resistance and move towards action.
One of my clients, who already runs a successful business, had been frozen for weeks on the next steps to launching a new initiative. Despite clarity and motivation, he couldn’t move forward.
We worked on naming and accepting the resistance. Beneath the freeze was a fear of failure, feelings of inadequacy, and concerns about the risks of starting a separate business. His mind was sending warning signals.
Understanding and accepting this process without judgment created space for clarity. He then identified a few simple steps that felt manageable, and momentum started to build.
A 4-Step Process to Break the Freeze
Here’s a more detailed explanation of each of the steps. As you read, think about a situation you've been procrastinating on and apply each step to it.
1. Name
Start by recognising what you’re putting off. Rather than judging or rationalising, get curious. Ask yourself: What am I delaying? What is my mind trying to protect me from?
Notice the internal tug-of-war: one part of you wants to move forward, while another part holds you back.
Simply naming the experience can calm your brain’s fear centre, restoring access to the thinking part of your brain. Awareness is the first step towards action.
2. Accept
Normalise resistance by recognising it as a protective mechanism.
Instead of fighting resistance, try softening toward it. Pause. Take a breath. Sometimes I even ask my clients to welcome the resistance, which for many people sounds counterintuitive. However, what we resist tends to persist.
By accepting the resistance as a normal response, you create space to act from a different energy.
3. Simplify
Break the task down into one tiny, manageable step. These steps are smaller than you think:
Sending that email, opening the document and writing one sentence, making that phone call or blocking 10 minutes on your calendar for a brainstorm.
Taking a small action isn’t about forcing progress; it’s about reducing resistance.
The simpler the task, the less your mind will perceive it as a risk, which makes it easier to get into action.
4. Act
Action is what begins to shift the curve, even if it is small or ‘imperfect’. Taking one step often makes the next one easier.
Taking small, intentional actions builds new neural pathways, which over time, trains your brain to respond differently to what feels risky or uncertain.
If resistance is still strong after taking some small actions, this might be a sign that your next step is too big. To help you move through that resistance, return to Step 2 to bring acceptance, and Step 3 to simplify your next task even further.
Keep in mind, these aren’t steps to rush through but practices to help you get comfortable with discomfort over time.
The Reward
Each time you act in spite of fear, you signal to your nervous system that it’s safe to do so.
That’s how resistance loses power, progress happens, and confidence is built.
Fear may still show up, but it won’t be in control.
One of my clients wanted to publish a book and had been postponing writing the introduction for months. It was the only section left in the book; however, writing it felt too big of a step. So instead, I suggested she commit to reading a few pages of her own manuscript each day. By the time we met again, she had almost read the entire book and reconnected with the purpose behind it. Motivation followed naturally, and writing the introduction no longer felt impossible.
As you act despite fear, you train your mind to see progress as safe, turning resistance into a stepping stone rather than a roadblock.
Practice for Today
Think of something you’ve been putting off, a conversation, a creative project, or a next step that matters.
Name it.
Notice what comes up as you acknowledge it.
Break it down into safe, simple steps.
Commit to at least one action today.
Make the phone call. Open the file. Send the email. Set a deadline.
If you need accountability, tell someone what you're doing and by when. Then notice what happens.
The aim isn’t to finish; it’s to start. Let this small step be the turning point that shifts you out of freeze and into action.
I’d love to hear about your experience with this exercise. What small step are you committing to today? I always appreciate hearing how these strategies are put into practice, so feel free to let me know in the comments below.
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