Why Saying Yes to New Experiences Rewires Your Brain (and Your Life)
“Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn’t do than by the ones you did.”
– Mark Twain
Let me tell you about the time I unexpectedly found myself dancing at a rave.
If you know me personally, you know the sentence above is one I was never going to write, and yet, there I was:
A 50-year-old who likes quiet places in nature and dislikes crowds turned into a first-time raver among hundreds of people.
Here’s how this happened:
A friend had invited me to Genting Highlands, a place in the mountains under an hour from the centre of Kuala Lumpur.
Since I live in the mountains of northern Thailand, I imagined quiet landscapes, rice fields, and a rich local culture. Instead, I discovered a modern city with skyscrapers and massive shopping malls, all connected by a long cable car system. Part of it felt like being in a futuristic city from a movie.
My friend had been talking for weeks about his love of the party and rave scene, something I avoided even in my twenties, let alone my thirties and forties!
While walking through one of the malls, we heard distant music and saw spotlights cutting across the sky. Coincidentally, a local friend I’d met just days earlier messaged me. When I told him I was at Genting Highlands, he replied:
“There’s a big event there happening this weekend.”
A few texts later, we realised a rave was happening live just a few minutes from where we were.
Joining a rave on a Sunday night was the last thing I thought I would be doing when I planned my trip to Malaysia. And yet, something inside me said not a timid “maybe” but a bold, capital-letter YES!
Instead of sticking to my sensible plan of going home early so I could head to Malacca the next day, I bought a ticket to the rave and opened myself to an experience I never thought I’d have.
That night of letting go and dancing with hundreds of people wasn’t just about music. It was about something deeper: a practice that I had “forgotten” and that I’ve reconnected with these past few months, something I call following the YES.
Reconnecting to the Power of YES
In my twenties and early thirties, I was much more connected to this practice of following the YES. But in my forties, I “lost it” as I focused more on stability, career development, and financial security.
A couple of months before this trip to Malaysia, I went back to a place that reconnected me to that earlier version of myself: the island of Bali, and in particular, Ubud.
I’d longed to return for over a decade but kept postponing it due to other priorities. Finally, when I realised I had a few days off on my calendar, I decided to go on a last-minute solo adventure. That decision opened the door to something bigger: an approach to life with more flexibility, openness, and energy.
I followed the yes to Bali, and then found myself stumbling into “coincidences” while I was there:
Turning a corner into a small alley revealed vast rice fields I hadn’t expected.
Parking my motorbike outside a venue led to a conversation with a local who shared advice that shaped my next day.
Accepting a casual dinner invitation opened a whole new circle of people and places.
These weren’t just chance events. They were reminders that when we follow the YES, we tap into the flow of something bigger, a space where fresh energy, ideas, and experiences are waiting to open up.
The Cost of No and the Power of Yes
Our routines make life predictable and comfortable. But too much comfort comes with a hidden cost: stagnation.
When we keep saying no, no to change, no to risk, no to the unfamiliar, we may feel safe, but we also stay stuck. Life becomes repetitive. Our minds and emotions start to close in on themselves.
Saying yes brings the opposite: freshness. It nudges us into new environments, new connections, and new ways of seeing the world. It keeps our minds and hearts flexible.
I’ve seen this play out in my own life and in my clients’ lives, too.
Opening to the YES
One client I worked with had a successful career as a scientist, but her real passion was mountaineering and writing. She dreamed of writing about her adventures, but fear kept her quiet.
Together, we worked on building her comfort with expression. Saying yes to writing wasn’t easy, but once she committed, something shifted. She discovered joy in sharing her experiences and, more importantly, new opportunities to connect and grow.
Her mountaineering adventures became even more meaningful when she began writing about them. After a few months, a couple of her articles were published in specialist climbing magazines!
Her YES to writing didn’t just open a creative outlet. It opened opportunities and, most importantly, reshaped her relationship with herself.
The Neuroscience of Following the YES
Psychologists call this quality openness to experience, and research has shown that it is strongly linked to qualities of creativity, adaptability, and resilience.
When we try something new, our brains release dopamine and form fresh neural connections. This process, called neuroplasticity, helps us stay mentally agile and emotionally flexible.
In short, novelty keeps our brains young and our spirits alive.
The reverse is also true: when we keep repeating the same patterns, the brain strengthens those loops, making change harder.
Put simply:
Saying no builds rigidity.
Saying yes builds flexibility.
“Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one’s courage.”
- Anaïs Nin
From Stagnation to Breakthrough
One of my clients, who works in the fashion industry, was stuck in a marriage that was comfortable but stagnant. Even though he knew something needed to change, the familiarity of his marriage kept him from taking action. His spouse had been ignoring his needs and saying no to him for years.
Through our coaching, he found the courage to make important changes and embrace being single again. By saying yes to his new life, other new opportunities opened up.
Within less than a year, he went for a job that he had secretly wanted for a long time but didn’t have the confidence to apply for. After saying yes to himself within the context of his marriage, he began to say yes in other areas of his life, including his career. A few months later he got the promotion he wanted and a significant pay rise.
He went from ignoring himself to saying yes to what mattered most: his career, his self-worth, and his well-being.
Your Practice This Week: From No to Yes
Here’s a short exercise to try:
Self-check: Where in your life are you repeating routines that feel safe but stagnant?
Rate yourself: On a scale from 1 to 10, where 1 is saying no to life and 10 is saying yes fully, where are you today?
Stretch: What would it mean to increase your level of yes by at least a couple of points?
Curiosity prompt: What’s something you’ve been curious about but keep postponing?
Commit: What’s one yes you could commit to this week that feels new or fresh?
A Few Simple “YES” Ideas
You don’t need to go to a rave to do something out of the ordinary and experience the benefits of this mental and emotional flexibility. Here are some ideas to practise saying yes to something new this week:
Try a new café, cuisine, or recipe.
Take a different route on your walk, run, or commute.
Join a class or event you’ve never tried before.
Reach out to someone you’ve been meaning to connect with.
Speak to a stranger on the street.
Say yes to rest, give yourself permission for unplanned downtime.
Do something playful, just for the fun of it.
A Reminder from My Younger Selves
I didn’t plan to end up at a rave in Malaysia. But that night, I let go, danced in a crowd of hundreds, and enjoyed an experience I once thought would be torture. Most importantly, it reminded me that life gets richer when we say yes to the unexpected.
That YES also reconnected me with younger versions of myself, the ones eager to be open and engage with life fully.
And if the experience of being open to life wasn’t enough, through that one decision to embrace the unexpected:
I made new friends who’ve invited me to connect when I return to Malaysia.
I learned about a rave in Dubai happening a few months later, a place I’d never been drawn to. And yet, I’m following the yes!
This week, I encourage you to let your younger self guide you. Practise your own version of following the yes.
See what happens when you choose freshness over routine, openness over control, growth over stagnation.
As usual, I’d love to hear from you. Let me know in the comments: what are you committing to saying yes to this week, and what do you notice in your mood and mindset after trying something out of the ordinary?
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