A Better Way to Plan Your Time
“If you’re overwhelmed, it’s usually not because you’re incapable, it’s because you’re carrying too much.”
– Brené Brown
I was recently reminded of how dysregulating to-do lists can be to our nervous system.
Not because they’re wrong or ineffective, but because they quietly ignore one essential reality.
Our capacity is limited.
One of my clients has been trying to balance the day-to-day demands of her role with keeping up with how quickly AI tools are transforming her industry.
Every morning, she would start her day with a long to-do list and the best of intentions. The plan was always the same: get through the core tasks efficiently so she could dedicate time to learning and upskilling.
But inevitably, the normal demands of her job, and the “fire of the day” would take over. New priorities appeared. She added them to the top of her list, focused on those, and watched the non-urgent but important tasks slide further down.
Her AI upskilling became one of those “nice-to-haves”. Not because it didn’t matter, but because there was never enough time. Day after day, it stayed on the list, quietly reminding her of what she wasn’t getting to.
Have you ever had this experience?
You start the day with a carefully curated to-do list, and genuine motivation, only to end it feeling behind, even though you’ve been busy all day.
At first glance, to-do lists seem helpful. They give us a sense of control, and organisation. But there’s a hidden cost: they don’t take into account our actual availability.
There’s no limit to how much you can add to a to-do list, but there is always a limit to how much time, focus, and energy you have in a day. This creates a subtle but powerful illusion, a sense that we should be able to do more than we realistically can.
Over time, this illusion doesn’t just affect how we plan; it affects how we relate to ourselves.
This is what I call the myth of capacity.
Why the Myth of Capacity Creates Anxiety
When your planning system constantly reminds you of what you haven’t done, it’s easy to feel demotivated and deflated.
I see this pattern most clearly in empathic, ambitious, highly responsible leaders, people who care deeply about doing things well and contributing meaningfully.
When you’re wired this way, repeatedly seeing what remains unfinished pulls your attention away from what has been done. Even when you’re making progress, your focus is drawn to what didn’t fit. Over time, this creates loops of anxiety, self-blame, and a persistent sense of being behind.
The issue isn’t a lack of discipline or motivation. It’s structural because to-do lists are not designed to honour limited capacity.
This was exactly what was happening for my client.
Despite managing her role well and making progress where she could, she felt as though she was falling short. Her system was telling her she was behind, even when she wasn’t.
Seeing Capacity Clearly
I asked my client to take me through everything she needed to do. She opened a notes app with an endless list of to-dos.
Instead, I asked her to open her calendar.
We began placing her most important tasks into specific time blocks.
Larger projects were broken into smaller, concrete steps.
Tasks that truly needed to happen that week were placed first.
Everything else was acknowledged and set aside.
She asked:
“How am I supposed to get all of this done in one week?”
Then she smiled and said:
“This is the point, right? I don’t actually have the capacity I thought I did.”
“Exactly.”
From there, I supported her to make conscious decisions about what truly needed to happen that week and what could be postponed:
The most urgent tasks were placed in specific time blocks in the current week.
Some tasks were moved to the following week.
Others were moved further out to the following weeks, or even postponed to the next month, or quarter depending on their priority.
Nothing was dropped; it was simply placed where it belonged, either on a specific day in the current week, or somewhere in the future where the calendar would remind her of the task.
By the end of the session, she had a clear plan. But, more importantly, she looked visibly more relaxed.
What we did in that moment was simple, but powerful:
We were letting time, rather than intention, set the boundaries.
Her workload hadn’t disappeared, but her plan now reflected reality.
She knew what she was focusing on, and had permission to let the rest wait.
Timeboxing: A Nervous-System-Friendly Alternative
Timeboxing means placing tasks directly into your calendar within defined time frames. Unlike to-do lists, it forces your plans to meet reality.
Instead of asking, “What do I need to do?” you’re asking, “What do I realistically have the capacity to work on during this time?”
Timeboxing isn’t about doing more. It’s about working within clear limits.
By anchoring tasks to time:
Your capacity becomes visible.
Priorities become clearer.
Anything that doesn’t fit can be mindfully postponed rather than mentally carried.
Tasks that don’t fit today aren’t forgotten. They’re placed where they belong. This reduces guilt, frees mental space, and allows you to focus on what’s actually possible right now.
Your Practice for the Week
Here’s how to gently experiment with timeboxing this week, to see your capacity more clearly:
Break a big project into smaller tasks. Identify recurring steps or multi-day tasks.
Schedule tasks on your calendar in realistic time blocks. Use recurring events for tasks that repeat.
Mindfully postpone tasks that don’t fit into the following week, or even later in your calendar.
What I see when introducing this approach to clients is that after the initial resistance to using timeboxing, they find that replacing their endless to-do lists with this approach gives their brain permission to focus.
They also report lower anxiety, the ‘behind’ feeling reduces, they have better focus on what matters most, and an overall sense of progress.
Bonus Practices to Become a Master Timebox Planner
When a new priority comes up and takes over a task you had planned for that moment, simply move the time block to later in your calendar so you acknowledge it still needs to get done.
At the end of your work day, notice what was done, and what wasn’t, and move any unfinished time blocks into the following day or later, depending on priority.
On a Friday, look at the week coming to an end, acknowledge and celebrate everything you accomplished, then move any incomplete time blocks to the following week or later on, depending on priority.
Timeboxing isn’t about perfection. It’s about using a system that supports your nervous system rather than working against it.
By using time blocks to prioritise what needs your attention now, and postponing everything else that doesn’t, you create mind space to focus on what you’re working on now, which shifts your nervous system from an anxious state of lack to a mode of being present and focused.
Give this a fair try for a full week (at least), ideally two, and let me know how it goes. I would love to hear from you in the comments.
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