How Letting Go Creates Clarity, Better Decisions, and New Possibilities
“Sometimes letting things go is an act of far greater power than hanging on.”
– Eckhart Tolle
Recently, I travelled to Luang Prabang in Laos.
The reason for the trip was simple. I needed to leave Thailand to transfer my visa into a new passport, and since I had never been, it felt like an opportunity to turn a logistical trip into a short getaway.
Little did I know that something quite practical would become a reminder of something much deeper that I often see in my work and in life:
How letting go creates clarity, and opens space for better decisions, and aligned action.
The Unexpected Moment
On my first full day in Luang Prabang, I learned about Wat Chom Si, a temple sitting at the top of a hill in the centre of the city, known for its 360-degree views at sunset.
That evening, a friend and I made our way up.
Despite the crowds gathering for the view, there was a calmness in the air. The kind that invites you to slow down without needing to be told.
(The photo at the top of this newsletter was taken in that moment.)
We had both been going through our own transitions. He had recently lost someone important in his life, and I had been navigating changes in some of my relationships. Without needing to say much, we found ourselves in a quieter, more reflective space.
After the sun had set, we began to make our way down.
That’s when we noticed a small opening into the temple.
Through the window, we could see flowers, incense, and flickering candlelight. My friend said he wanted to “light a candle”. I didn’t need to ask anything as I knew exactly what he meant.
A Moment of Release
My friend and I bought some offerings of flowers, candles, and incense, and stepped into the temple.
What followed wasn’t planned.
As soon as I walked into the temple, I moved into a reflective process of gratitude, and letting go that I have experienced in other moments in my life.
I began to bring to mind some of my key relationships. People who had supported me, challenged me, and those whose place in my life had shifted over time.
I acknowledged what we had shared.
The time. The experiences. The lessons.
And then, gently, I released them.
Not from longing or regret, but from a place of gratitude.
What followed is something I’ve come to recognise, both in my own experience and in my work, when true letting go takes place.
A clear shift in my body.
My breath deepened.
Tension I hadn’t noticed began to soften.
Something new was there that wasn’t just a few moments before.
Space.
A kind of internal spaciousness that hadn’t been available moments before.
And in that space, there was clarity.
Moments like this have a way of revealing something simple, yet easy to overlook:
How often we hold on, not because something is right, but because it is familiar.
And letting go allows space, and clarity for new experiences, and people to show up.
Where This Shows Up for Leaders
This is something I see often in my work with empathic, ambitious leaders, especially those who carry a strong sense of responsibility for others.
A tendency to focus on pushing forward, solving, and holding things together, while rarely creating space to step back, and release what is no longer aligned.
Recently, I was working with a client who is a product director at a tech company. He is young, capable, and leading at a high level.
And yet, internally, he experiences a constant pressure.
Much of it comes from his desire to meet expectations, respond quickly, and avoid disappointing others. Maybe you can relate?
As we explored this together, it became clear that this people-pleasing wasn’t just about his role.
It was a pattern.
From a young age, many of us are conditioned to be “good”, to meet expectations, and keep others satisfied.
Over time, what is familiar begins to feel like what is required.
In his case, this pattern was creating tension. Urgency. A constant sense of needing to keep up.
The work we did together began with awareness.
Noticing how this showed up in his body. The tightness. The contraction. The subtle stress response that activated before he even had time to think.
From there, the practice was simple.
Pause.
Breathe.
And begin to release the need to please.
Even momentarily.
What followed wasn’t disengagement, but clarity.
A shift towards internal referencing.
What actually matters right now?
What are my priorities?
What is truly needed?
In a very different context, he was learning the same thing I experienced on that hill:
Let go → create space → then choose consciously.
How Letting Go Creates Clarity and Better Decisions
I saw this even more clearly in another recent session.
A client I’ve been working with has been developing a programme she cares deeply about. There was genuine excitement in her voice, but also hesitation.
Fear. Doubt. Pressure.
As we slowed the conversation down, we moved away from strategy, and into her experience.
What was happening in her body as she spoke about this?
She began to notice it.
A tightness in her chest.
A sense of contraction.
A pull between wanting to move forward, and wanting to hold back.
There was an attachment to the outcome. A sense that it had to work, which was creating more contraction rather than space.
She had already invested time, energy, and identity into it. And like many of us, the more we invest, the harder it becomes to step back, even when something inside is asking for space.
We stayed with that.
Not trying to fix it.
Not trying to push through it.
Just noticing.
And then, gently, I invited her to explore something different.
What would it look like to release this?
Not the project itself.
But the grip around it.
The expectation. The pressure. The need for it to succeed in a particular way.
There was a pause.
And then something shifted.
Her body softened. Her breath changed. The intensity eased.
Space.
And in that space, something new became available.
Clarity.
Instead of pulling away, she chose to move forward, but from a different place.
Not from pressure.
Not from fear.
But from intention.
More often than not, the most powerful move is not to push forward, but to release what we are holding onto, so we can see clearly what wants to come next.
When we grip tightly, our perspective narrows.
When we release, it expands.
Creating Space for Better Decisions and New Possibilities
For me and my friend back at the temple in Laos, as we started our descent, we found a different path leading back into the city, one that we hadn’t noticed before, but now seemed obvious.
When we create space, new paths often reveal themselves, as both of my clients found out.
Paths that may have been there all along, but were harder to see when we hold on.
We often think of growth as something that requires more.
More effort.
More action.
More control.
But there is another side to growth that is just as important.
Release.
Release creates space.
And space creates new possibility.
Practice for the Week
I’d like to offer you a different reflection.
Instead of asking:
What should I do next?
Try asking:
What do I need to release first?
You might explore:
What am I holding onto out of familiarity or a sense of safety?
Where might I be gripping too tightly to an outcome?
What would it look like to loosen that grip, even slightly?
This doesn’t require a dramatic decision.
Sometimes, release begins with awareness.
A pause.
A breath.
A softening.
What I was reminded of on that hill is that letting go does not have to be forceful.
It can be intentional.
It can be grounded in gratitude.
We don’t need to reject the past in order to move forward.
We can acknowledge it.
Appreciate it.
And still choose to release it.
Taking with us what matters.
And creating the space for something new to emerge.
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