Acceptance and Change: The Balance Between Healing and Action for Meaningful Growth
“Acceptance and change are two sides of the same coin.”
– Marsha Linehan
There are some periods in our lives when we need support to process challenging situations, like dealing with loss or working on our emotional health. At other times, we might be going through important transitions that require clarity and action.
After a difficult break-up, or when facing feelings of insecurity or anxiety in a professional setting, you might work with a therapist. Therapy can be incredibly helpful, offering empathy and a safe space to process what you are experiencing.
But often, when it came to moving forward, I noticed that the traditional therapeutic approach didn’t always offer support to create clear action plans and accountability systems.
There are times when what we need most is practical support to make a shift. In my case a clear example was when I decided to transition into running my coaching business full-time.
When I worked with coaches to help me make that transition, I noticed they were excellent at helping me set goals, build a plan, and keep me accountable.
However, when doubts, insecurities, or other complex emotions surfaced, they often weren’t equipped to hold space for those uncomfortable inner experiences. The process, while helpful, felt incomplete.
Have you ever found yourself in either of these situations?
Needing support to process difficult emotions.
Or needing support to take action and be accountable?
What I’ve realised through my own experience, and through the work I now do with clients, is that both sides are essential.
Real growth and change happen when:
We create space for healing and understanding (acceptance).
While also finding clarity on how to take aligned action (change).
One without the other is incomplete. Emotional work without action can leave us stuck. Action without processing can create movement, but often in unsustainable or misaligned ways.
This realisation inspired me to bring an integrative approach into my coaching, one that creates space for both acceptance without judgment and actions toward meaningful change.
This can also be understood as the balance between:
Being and doing.
Healing and action.
Reflection and courage.
Acceptance and change.
Together, these opposites support both our inner world and the outer steps needed to move forward.
For more on attending to opposites, you might like to take a look at this blog post I wrote a while back.
The Two ‘Train Tracks’
I often describe this balance as two parallel “train tracks”:
Acceptance: being with our emotions, recognising what’s happening inside, holding space for our challenges, and processing them.
Change: practical steps, decisions, and aligned actions that move us in a direction that matters.
Without both tracks running in parallel, the “train of your life” struggles to move forward.
You might be skilled at processing and self-reflection, but find it hard to take action.
Or you might excel at action, achieving results, but find unresolved emotions eventually derail your progress.
It’s only when the two tracks run together that movement becomes sustainable and authentic.
Integrating Healing and Action
I think of acceptance and change as healing (inner work) and action (outer work). When we attend to these opposites, a positive feedback loop takes place.
One client of mine ran a small fashion brand. His goal was to grow the business and eventually empower young people through design and mentorship.
It became clear that his business would thrive only as he addressed his own healing and growth. Initially, it felt foreign that old wounds and mistrust could impact the business, yet the main pain point was clear: he struggled to build a stable, committed team.
In practice, his dynamic with his team was reversed. It was as if he was working for them, and not the other way round.
His energy was apologetic towards his staff as he was afraid of losing (yet another person), if he was too direct. This meant he would often take on the work himself instead of delegating to avoid asking too much of them. His reluctance to lead firmly came at the cost of his own well-being.
Only when he began addressing the deeper mistrust and processing past experiences was he able to make difficult decisions, such as letting go of under performing staff. As he worked through his fears of being “too demanding,” he started holding his team to the same high standards he set for himself.
The feedback loop between the two tracks became clear:
Healing: By recognising and processing his discomfort with leading firmly, and tracing it back to formative experiences, he reduced the emotional weight behind his reluctance.
Action: By making some tough decisions and restructuring his team, he built a strong group committed to his vision.
Months after our coaching engagement had finished, he shared that his business was thriving, mostly because after years of struggling to build a solid team, he finally had a committed group fully aligned with his vision.
This is where the integration becomes powerful: acceptance brings grounding, clarity, and self-connection, while action brings momentum and results
Practice for the Week
How can you apply the two tracks to your own growth?
Start by noticing your default. Which side of the spectrum do you tend to lean towards?
Acceptance = healing = being:
Some people are excellent at being with what is; they might process emotions easily, but avoid taking action.
Change = action = doing
Others are brilliant at acting, but are disconnected from their inner experience, which at times can leave them lost or ungrounded.
Take a moment to reflect: what is your current ratio?
Is your balance closer to 50/50 or 60/40, or more skewed, like 80/20 or even 100/0?
Be honest without judgment. This is your baseline.
Now, bring a current challenge to mind. It could be:
A difficult conversation you need to have.
A professional shift or decision.
Setting clearer boundaries.
Procrastination or building courage for a change.
Ask yourself:
Am I leaning more into acceptance (understanding, reflecting, processing)?
Or am I leaning more into change (doing, deciding, acting)?
Then balance your focus:
If you’re stuck in processing, ask:
What is one small aligned action I can take to support myself?
If you’re pushing hard on action, pause and ask:
Which emotions or inner experiences need attention right now?
Support both tracks with specific practices:
For bringing acceptance: journaling, therapy, reflective conversations.
For promoting change: planning, goal-setting, accountability.
Together, these “opposites” create meaningful, sustainable movement.
Acceptance and Change for Sustainable Growth
Over the years, I’ve seen again and again that growth is most powerful when both tracks are honoured. Whether in personal or professional life, it’s this integration that allows us to move forward with authenticity and strength.
Which side are you currently leaning toward: healing or action? And how would you benefit from bringing balance between the two? Let me know in the comments, I’d love to hear from you.
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